Navigating the Journey of Grief: Finding Healing and Hope
Finding healing and Hope
Grief is a universal experience that touches us all at some point in our lives. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of our beloved pet, the shattering of a dream, or the change of life as we know it, grief can be a deeply challenging and transformative process. In this blog, we will explore the different facets of grief, understand its stages and discover practical strategies for managing grief and finding healing.
Understanding Grief
Grief Defined: Grief is a natural response to loss, encompassing a range of emotions and reactions. It is important to recognise that grief is a unique and personal journey, with no right or wrong way to grieve. It is a process that requires time, patience, and self-compassion.
Types of Loss: Loss can take many forms, including the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a beloved pet, the loss of a job, the change in life as we know it, or even the loss of a dream. Each type of loss carries its own set of challenges and emotions and it's essential to acknowledge and honour these experiences.
The Grieving Process
Stages of Grief: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the concept of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It's important to note that these stages are not linear and can be experienced in different orders or revisited multiple times. Understanding these stages can provide insight into the emotional rollercoaster of grief. Take a look here for more information on Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' stages.
My Story: We all handle grief in our own way and how we experience grief can also be dependent on circumstances. For me I was in the final year of my degree. I was nearly 40-years-old at the time and researching heavily for my dissertation whilst caring for my 3 children, husband and working part time. No mean feat for sure. My world was shattered on hearing that my dad, who was not sick, had died suddenly.
I received a phone call from my husband on my way home from university and on the way to collect my youngest from school. The news hit me so very hard. I had seen my dad that morning and taken some cough medicine round for him. Other than the cough he was absolutely fine. I was definitely in denial. He was absolutely fine. Why would my husband phone me to tell me he had died?
All death is so hard, sudden and unexplained death is beyond anything you can imagine. There is no time for goodbye. You don't expect a heathy person to leave. The pain was unbearable. My sisters and I were looking after mum, staying strong for her and sorting everything out. On top of this I had a decision to make. Do I leave university and the degree I had worked incredibly hard for or continue? I had spoken with my dissertation Professor who urged me to return as soon as possible so I could complete my degree. I had a very difficult decision to make. After taking with my mum and sisters I went back after a week and continued with my dissertation and rest of my studies.
Grief was something that had to wait. I believe this is why it took so long to come to terms with the death of my dad and it was only when I had the BWRT session did the pain subside. We will always miss our loved ones and it will break our heart. There is no easy way to cope with grief, we work our way through and find whatever gives us peace.
There is so much out there to support us so do find what is right for you. We all need something or someone to support us through. I didn’t do any of the tips below and urge you to find the right support for you. Please don’t ignore your needs during the grieving process like I did, the pain becomes eternal and nothing is resolved.
Tips for Managing Grief
Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions: Give yourself permission to feel the full range of emotions that arise during grief. Allow yourself to grieve without judgment or guilt.
Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as exercise, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies.
Seek Support: Something I wish I had done much earlier in my grieving process was to reach out to friends, family, support groups, or a professional who could provide a listening ear and understanding. Sharing your grief with others can help alleviate the burden and provide comfort.
Create a Routine: Establishing a daily routine can provide a sense of stability and purpose during a difficult time. Incorporate activities that bring you solace and promote healing. It is so easy to just float though this period without achieving anything and believe me, there is so much value in creating a daily routine for yourself.
Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engage in mindfulness practices such as deep belly breathing, meditation, grounding, or journaling to help manage stress and anxiety associated with grief. These techniques can provide moments of calm and self-reflection.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that healing takes time and that there is no right or wrong timeline for grief. Be patient with yourself and avoid comparing your journey and progress to others. Just make sure you are acknowledging you and your needs during this time.
Focus on Gratitude: I know this can be hard, find moments of gratitude amidst your grief. Keep a gratitude journal or take a few moments each day to reflect on things you are thankful for. Cultivating gratitude can bring a sense of hope and positivity.
Explore Creative Outlets: Express your emotions and find solace through creative activities such as painting, writing, or playing music. These outlets can provide a healthy way to process and release your grief.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself throughout the grieving process. Avoid self-judgment and practice self-compassion as you navigate the ups and downs.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If grief becomes overwhelming or prolonged, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists, counsellors, or support groups specialising in grief counselling can provide valuable guidance and support.
Finding Meaning and Healing
Finding Meaning in Grief: Grief can be an opportunity for growth and transformation. Explore ways to find meaning in your grief journey, such as engaging in self-reflection, seeking spiritual connections, or finding ways to honour your loved one's memory. Writing can be a truly positive and cathartic experience.
Healing Through Connection: Seek connections with others who have experienced similar losses. Join support groups or online communities where you can share your story, find empathy and offer support to others.
Seeking Professional Help
The Importance of Professional Support: If you find yourself struggling to cope with grief, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists, counsellors, or grief specialists can provide guidance, tools, and a safe space to navigate the complexities of grief. I didn’t even consider finding support until I heard about BWRT 20-years after my dad passed. BWRT was lifechanging and I know that I would not be able to support others thought grief and loss had I not dealt with mine first. I know now that I can empathise with my clients staying strong and supportive. I can truly support others through their darkest moments.
Resources and Support: Here is list of resources, that offer additional support and guidance.
Coping with Grief and Loss, a help guide
Please do reach out and seek the support you need.
Grief is a deeply personal and transformative journey that requires time, patience, and self-compassion. By understanding the stages of grief, practicing self-care, seeking support and finding meaning in the process, we can navigate the path of grief with resilience and hope. Remember, you are not alone in your grief and healing is possible.
If you would love to discover more about the services I offer and see how I can support you please do get in touch.
Much love
Toni xxx
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